Schelly Talalay Dardashti – May Her Memory Be a Blessing

Long-time Jewish genealogist and genetic genealogy pioneer, Schelly Talalay Dardashti, Hebrew name, Riva Chana bat Mordechai v’Mirrell, has passed over and is now visiting with the ancestors. Actually, she is probably questioning them from a long prepared list😊

Schelly, at left, and me at a conference someplace, sometime, looking at something interesting.

Here’s Schelly’s public speaker biography:

Schelly Talalay Dardashti, MyHeritage’s US Genealogy Advisor, was the Jerusalem Post Jewish genealogy columnist (“It’s All Relative,” 1999-2005), an award-winning blog creator (Tracing the Tribe – The Jewish Genealogy Blog), and founded “Tracing the Tribe – Jewish Genealogy on Facebook” with nearly 82,000 members in 101+ countries.

Her articles have appeared in Avotaynu, NGS Quarterly, The Forward, and Hadassah, among others. Affiliations: co-admin, Iberian Ashkenazi DNA Project, FTDNA; board member, Society for Crypto- Judaic Studies; founding member, Sephardic Heritage Institute NM; and a Persian community liason, Avotaynu Jewish Heritage DNA Project.

While that’s all true, Schelly was so much more.

It was almost impossible to not know Schelly in the genealogy community. I met her about 20 years ago at the FamilyTreeDNA administrators conference, and we’ve been friends ever since. Lifetime friendships and unbreakable bonds are formed in this community. Jim Brewster wrote an article about Building Friendships in the Genealogy Conference Circuit, and of course, Schelly’s included.

I found out yesterday that Schelly had passed, following a brave battle with cancer – a battle she did not share with us. I wish she had for a multitude of reasons, but that wasn’t Schelly. Schelly was all about helping other people.

The Schelly I knew was everyone’s “other Mom”, conference Mom, aunt, cousin, sister, friend – whatever you needed her to be in the moment.

Daniel Horowitz joyfully photobombing Schelly Dardashti, Janna Helstein, and me

Almost everyone has photos with Schelly – and many of them are of her hugging someone. All of them are joyful. In the photo above, Schelly, Janna Helstein and me all knew that Daniel Horowitz was photobombing us and we were trying to take a semi-serious picture. Now, I’m so glad we all had that good laugh. You should have seen the rest of that series. We were cracking up!

I know Schelly would want us to laugh a bit, even through our tears of sadness, so I’m going to tell you about Schelly educating me about chocolate. It’s just “so Schelly.”

Schelly and I shared this curse, I mean addiction to chocolate. Schelly knew that I have a Jewish ancestor, and when she discovered my love for chocolate, as I was sharing with her from my conference stash, Schelly pronounced us as “unrepentant chocoholics” and proclaimed, “Well, that’s just the Jewish coming out in you.” Then she proceeded to school me about the Jews and chocolate.

It seems that Spanish merchants, many of whom were either Jews or conversos who had been forced to convert during the Spanish Inquisition, had imported cocoa beans and learned how to make chocolate. They then took their chocolate-making skills and know-how with them into Europe. She told me that Bayonne, France was the center of chocolate in Europe, eventually evolving into a chocolate industry, and that the Jews took their chocolate-making equipment into the city center each day, and lugged it back home into the Jewish ghetto every evening.

Who knew. Just one more bond!

Wide Reaching Influence

What many people don’t know is how much Schelly influenced people – their research, and even their life choices. She had a special sense of who needed to be uplifted, and did exactly that.

Schelly inspired people to try and achieve, and she took special efforts to connect with young people, because they are the future of not just genealogy, but humanity as a whole.

She also encouraged them to be kind, but not shy. Schelly spoke her mind and would set you straight in half a minute. That was a necessary skill, given her role as the founder and long-time administrator of the “Tracing the Tribe – Jewish Genealogy on Facebook,” group on Facebook. Right there are more than 82,000 people whose lives she touched. Schelly was everyone’s advocate.

Schelly was a mensch.

Left to right Schelly Dardashti, Jennifer Zinck, Jim Brewster. Photo by Juniper Zinck.

This lovely photo of Schelly with Jennifer Zinck, standing and Jim Brewster was taken by one of the young people, Juniper Zinck, who counted Schelly among her friends. Schelly and Juniper had long conversations – the one that came to mind today for Juniper was their shared love of Persian food, and Schelly’s “can do” attitude. Jennifer describes Schelly as a “genealogy rockstar” and Jim, as “my conference Mom who made sure I took care of myself.”

Another testimonial: “Schelly called me on Monday from the hospital to let me know she was in the hospital and her prognosis wasn’t good. I was bawling, trying not to let her know. I’m grateful I got to talk to her one more time to tell her I love her. I’m heartbroken. There’s a space in my heart where she’ll live forever.”

Schelly has legions of friends around the world.

The Too-Late Quilt

About a month ago, I “retired” after more decades than I care to admit of making care quilts. But earlier this week, when I discovered that Schelly was ill, I immediately unretired and started one for her that I had planned to finish this weekend. This quilt isn’t just made of fabric, it’s made of love, and also with pieces from other quilts I’ve made for other people I love. Quilts are like a chain of caring and loving, connecting us all.

I did not plan to be sitting here on Sunday morning, writing this, with my eyes leaking. I planned to be finishing her quilt.

I had heard through the conference grapevine that Schelly wasn’t well, but I didn’t realize how unwell she was. I messaged her, and was asking where I could send something for her. I was going to call her today if I hadn’t heard back.

Too late.

Yesterday, when the news broke that Schelly had passed in a posting by Rabbi Dr. Jordan Gendra-Molina in Schelly’s Facebook group, I knew my quilt was too late to bring Schelly comfort. I didn’t have to hurry anymore. Trust me, I’d rather be hurrying and obsessing about whether she’ll like the colors and everything else I obsess about when I quilt.

This news hit me like a freight train.

I simply took my glasses off and sobbed, sitting right there at the sewing machine. For my loss, for our loss, for her family’s loss, for the missed opportunities, for the conferences that won’t be complete without Schelly.

For the huge, massive, hole she leaves.

In Rabbi Gendra-Molina’s posting, he says, “It is fitting to mention that, according to Jewish tradition, when a soul passes away on Shabbat, it is considered an especially significant blessing. May her name be for a blessing.”

Schelly blessed everyone with her presence.

May Their Memory Be a Blessing

In the Jewish faith, there’s an especially wonderful saying that is offered at the passing of a loved one.

“May their memory be a blessing.”

That phrase offers more than condolences. It’s an uplifting way of saying that the memories created by and with that person will outlive them, will bring us comfort and strength – and that while we grieve their passing, we also celebrate their life and legacy.

So, for all that is Schelly, I will finish her quilt. It’s still in pieces right now, but then so am I.

I’m not sure where the quilt will go, in Schelly’s honor, but I’m sure she’ll guide me from “over there.” She’s not gone, but just in a different space now.

Services update: Schelly will be buried this Wednesday, August 20th at 4:00 pm at La Puerta Natural Burial Ground, 9 Ingreso Dr, Belen, New Mexico, 87002 (one hour southwest of Albuquerque). Rabbi Jordi Gendra Molina will officiate. Shiva services will occur at 7:00 pm MDT on Wednesday, August 20th and Thursday, August 21st at the Hillel House of the University of New Mexico, 1701 Sigma Chi Rd NE, Albuquerque, NM 87106. (You may park in the lot to the east of the house.) I will be sitting shiva privately here, but joining with the rest spiritually.

Shiva update: I just spoke with Schelly’s daughter and explained that a group of genealogists, including those of varying faiths, are sitting Shiva with Schelly’s family on both Wednesday the 20th and Thursday, the 21st, at 7 PM MDT.

Light a candle for Schelly to honor her life and in support of her family. Any candle will be fine. It’s the intention that counts.

Here’s additional information about Shiva. https://guttermansinc.com/the-customs-associated-with-sitting-shiva/

May her memory be a blessing.

Bob McLaren, Beloved Clan McLaren Genealogist Meets His Ancestors

McLaren Profile.jpg

Compliments of Scott Stewart, photographer.

Bob McLaren, Clan McLaren genealogist and founder of the McLaren DNA Project, was one of the most beloved people in the genealogy community. He tried hard to be a curmudgeon, but he mostly failed at that. His smile and laughing eyes gave him away.

McLaren solo 2

Photo, compliments of Janine Cloud.

Bob’s sense of humor was dry, the same way he liked his Glenmorangie 12, single malt scotch whiskey, neat. Yep, he could tell you all about that, and don’t even think of mentioning some heresy about Cardhu. Unless of course, you wished to debate for the evening. Bob had been known to leave establishments, as is more than once, for having NO acceptable scotch in house.

Bob was Scottish, and Scotch apparently, through and through – always wearing his McLaren plaid kilt and educating anyone who would listen – at genealogy events, conferences and bars around the world. Bob was the consumate ambassador in every sense of the word.

Bob joined his McLaren ancestors on March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day, probably in protest of the danged Irish kidnapping a perfectly good Scotsman, Patrick, born Maewyn Succat in Scotland about the year 387, taking him to Ireland and turning him into a Saint. Waste of a perfectly good Scotsman in Bob’s book. Bob took his Scottish history seriously, very seriously, indeed. Just ask. Well, on second thought, no need to ask – he’d tell you one way or the other.

McLaren early

I remember the first time I ever saw Bob in person, from afar, at the 2004 Family Tree DNA Conference – wearing his kilt and dagger. Yes, dagger – known as Sgain-dubh in Gaelic, in his sock. At first, I was struck by his kilt, but then I couldn’t stop looking at his sock.

McLaren dagger

Courtesy of ISOGG, photo contributed by Candy Camprise.

Even when Bob had a cast on his leg, that sock and dagger were still very much present. After 9-11, he had to stop traveling while wearing his dagger. Airlines frowned on that for some reason.

McLaren talking

Courtesy ISOGG, photograph by Candy Camprise.

The never-failing commonality in all pictures of Bob is that he is always talking to someone, always educating, always sharing. Extremely outgoing with a “let’s get it done” attitude, Bob was passionate about every aspect of genealogy.

McLaren Jeremy

Photo courtesy Family Tree DNA.

Bob McLaren with Jeremy Balkin at the Family Tree DNA project administrators’ conference in 2013.

McLaren Kherlen.JPG

Photo compliments of Katherine Borges.

Bob, with Kherlen, volunteer project administrator for the Mongolian DNA Project at the 2014 conference reception.

Bob not only attended the conferences, he was a presenter from time to time as well.

Ever-present, we never thought about the day that Bob wouldn’t be with us. He seemed timeless. A tall man with a wizard-like beard, he seemed a bit like he was transplanted from another era. Maybe at first a little intimidating – at least before you got to know him and realized that his gruffness was mostly bluster. Underneath, Bob was a kind-hearted, gentle teddy-bear of a soul. Bob wasn’t trying to intimidate anyone, he just wanted to provoke you enough to get you to engage in an interesting conversation. I soon learned that two could play that game.

At one of the early FTDNA conferences, my husband and I had walked across the street from the hotel to a restaurant for dinner. I had seen Bob from a distance, but never actually met him. He was always talking to someone else!

He sat at a table near us, by himself. I walked over to his table and asked if he’d like to join us. A genealogist eating by themselves is a perfectly wasted opportunity. Of course, had Bob realized at that moment that I was a descendant of the dreaded Campbell clan, he might not have accepted that invitation.

I’m glad he did, because that dinner sparked a friendship that deepened over the years as the Family Tree DNA conferences became like family reunions – and Bob became family – to me and so many others too.

Bob was a man on a mission – genealogy and McLaren clan genealogy specifically. He didn’t so much love genetic genealogy for the genetics part of the equation, but for the fact that DNA could, did and would unravel the knots in genealogical mysteries. In particular, his goal was to document the various paternal branches of the McLaren clan through Y DNA mutations.

Bob also realized that collaboration was the only way to achieve this goal – hence his constant presence at various conferences, like NGS, RootsTech, FGS and others.

In order to interact with the maximum number of people and convince them of the benefits of DNA testing, Bob volunteered at the FamilyTreeDNA booth at many conferences – wearing his signature kilt of course. Everyone knew him, it seemed, and came by to say hello.

I don’t think Bob would ever admit it, but as he aged, it was a lot easier for him to sit in one place and let the conference walk by him rather than walk through the conference – especially large conferences like RootsTech in particular.

McLaren Rootstech 2015

RootsTech 2015, compliments of Family Tree DNA.

Just don’t make the mistake of telling Bob you were a Campbell, or even worse, a McGregor. He’d educate you on clan history right then and there.

McLaren table.jpg

Photo compliments Janine Cloud.

When an employee became ill at a conference, Bob along with Doug Miller, at right, volunteered and stepped in at the FTDNA booth at the FGS conference in 2011. That’s the kind of guy Bob was.

McLaren listening

Photo courtesy of Janine Cloud.

Bob was a wonderful listener, utilizing his decades of experience to dispense advice about genealogy research, clan history, trees, DNA testing, or pretty much anyone someone needed. He was a marvelous teacher.

Of course, Bob loved nothing more than to buddy with other genealogists, especially other Scottish men wearing kilts.

McLaren Moffitt

Photo courtesy of Robert Moffitt.

Here, posed with friend Roger Moffitt, Bob would call Roger “Laddie” and tell him he was a bad Scottsman when Roger failed to wear his kilt. Roger pays his respects to Bob, here, on his own Facebook page.

You may need to be Roger’s friend to see this and other Facebook postings about Bob.

McLaren dressed up.jpg

Photo courtesy of Scott Stewart.

I didn’t realize that there were casual and dress kilts and regalia, but Scott Stewart took this absolutely dashing photo of Bob “dressed up” for the 2009 NGS banquet standing beside fellow Scotsman, John Ralls.

Bob chastised Scott for not wearing his kilt too. No one escaped Bob’s encouragement😊

McLaren Beidler leiderhosen kilt

Photo courtesy James M. Beidler.

That Leiderhosen/kilt ad…well, here they are.

Bob and I were volunteers on various committees together, so I knew that he had become rather frail over the past couple of years. I was concerned about him last year at RootsTech and also at the NGS conference in May 2019 in St. Louis.

For a man who did not participate in social media and didn’t much care to have his picture taken, there are certainly a lot of photos out there that feature Bob and…well… everybody it seems.

That’s because Bob was quite kindhearted, despite what he would have you believe, and never denied anyone anything. Except maybe a McGregor.

In the 24 hours of so since the word of Bob’s passing crept out on social media, many people have shared such heartwarming stories about Bob. I’ve been smiling and laughing through my tears.

McLaren me

This photo was taken of me and Bob in February 2019 at RootsTech. I told Bob I loved his black leather purse, or bag, whatever it was. Acting quite offended, which I knew he wasn’t of course, he very quickly schooled me on the fact that it was NOT a purse and it WAS a sporran. Call it what you want, Bob😊

We had an absolutely lovely week at RootsTech, running into each other several times.

McLaren Benihana

Attendees tend to form groups that eat together. This particular evening, part of the MyHeritage team and the FTDNA team invited me along and we had dinner at Benihana. One person in the group had a birthday and the photographer took a photo of the group together. We teased the birthday person mercilessly – Bob goading him into drinking some birthday Glenmorangie 12 in celebration.

I asked Bob if Campbells were allowed Genmorangie 12. He said, “absolutely not” and that he would have to drink mine for me.

We gave this picture to the birthday person, and I discovered this morning that he placed it on his fridge where it remains today, as a memento of a lovely evening with friends.

What happy times we had, and how we need those memories desperately today.

McLaren Addy

Photo compliments of Jennifer Zinck.

For some reason, Bob was especially inspirational to young people, and they in turn were drawn to him. One person mentioned that he is a sort of father-figure for her, and now he’s gone. Someone else said that he reminds them of the grandfather they wish they had known.

Addie Zinck, above, with her friend, Franklin the spider, attended her first Family Tree DNA conference in 2018. She too is missing her friend, Bob, today. Addie, don’t worry, Bob’s still with you.

Community Memorials

McLaren Katherine.jpg

Katherine Borges, Director of ISOGG, has known Bob almost as long as I have. She too had a very special relationship with Bob and remembers him, here, on the ISOGG Facebook page with this commentary and poem:

I’ve know Bob since the first Family Tree DNA conference in 2004. I’ve been blessed to get to know him better over the years because he had a huge heart and a wonderfully dry sense of humor. I used to tease him that I was going to buy him some McGregor whisky and he’d pull his skean dhu on me in reply. 😆

God willing and the creek doesn’t rise, I will dress in full Scottish regalia at the FTDNA conference in November in memory of Bob. And we’ll toast the life of this wonderful man with a wee dram.

“An honest man here lies at rest,
The friend of man, the friend of truth,
The friend of age, and guide of youth:
Few hearts like his, with virtue warm’d,
Few heads with knowledge so inform’d;
If there’s another world, he lives in bliss;
If there is none, he made the best of this.”

– Robert Burns

Many people have replied to Katherine’s post with their own memories, so do take a look.

McLaren Borges Magellan

Photo courtesy Katherine Borges.

Bob with his fellow Scots, Linda Magellan and Katherine Borges, above. Looks to me like Bob, Linda and Katherine are plotting something!

McLaren Beidler Southard.jpg

Photo compliments of James M. Beidler.

Blaine Bettinger posted this photo, with Diahan Southard and James M. Beidler – and memorializes Bob here in the Genetic Genealogy Tips and Techniques group with this commentary:

In Memoriam. Robert “Bob” McLaren, who passed away yesterday, was a fixture of the Family Tree DNA booth at just about every conference. Bob was a project administrator, DNA expert, DNA educator, and all around incredibly nice person. Over the years he educated and assisted 1000s of people with all aspects of DNA. And I’ve rarely seen someone as proud of their heritage! He will be very much missed.

Be sure to read the many comments on this post too. Bob inspired so many.

It’s incredibly gut-wrenching when these iconic legends pass over.

The McLaren Quilt

This year, just before RootsTech, Bob became ill and was unable to travel. Based on what he said and the medical testing underway, we knew that he needed a care quilt.

Folks at Family Tree DNA and RootsTech that knew Bob signed blocks, although we were being quiet about his illness and his privacy.

McLaren quilt.png

I quickly ordered McLaren tartan fabric from a custom design/print shop. The signature blocks were overnighted to me from Utah and Texas after RootsTech and I pieced the top. The quilt was quickly quilted over a weekend with a Scottish thistle design, bound on Monday and overnighted, arriving the morning of Tuesday, the 17th.

Sadly, Bob never received his quilt. I spoke to Mrs. McLaren today, and she said that the quilt is now spread on the couch with the family admiring it and telling stories. That’s what Bob would have wanted anyway – although I am gravely regretful that I couldn’t somehow have gotten it there a day or two earlier. If it was humanly possible, I would have. I hope his “McLaren Quilt” will bring his family comfort, knowing how many loved Bob and reading their caring messages.

Several people have said to me, “Bob sees it now,” and I desperately hope they are right. I wish now that I had told him it was on the way, but I wanted it to be a surprise and I had absolutely no idea Bob would only be with us another 24 hours.

I am incredibly glad that I called Bob on Monday and spoke with him at length, explaining how he had inspired me, thanking him for being such a strong pillar and foundation in our community.

Bob was planning to be dismissed the next day and his wife was preparing for the same at home. Bob told me, among other things, that he hoped and indeed, planned, to be at the next Family Tree DNA conference in November 2020 in Houston. After that, he said, “it’s probably lights out.” By this time, Bob was aware of his diagnosis although he was optimistic and encouraged to think that he would attend one more conference. I had already spoken with his wife and was surprised to hear Bob planning for November, but make no mistake, if any human could have pulled that off, it indeed was Bob.

Sadly, that wasn’t in the cards, as Bob slipped away the next day with his family gathered round.

While I’m crushed, as are decades’ worth of friends and acquaintances in addition to his family, I’m incredibly grateful to have had Bob’s presence in my life. I’m glad I told him that, in so many words, and thanked him for being an inspiration to a whole generation, or two, of young people.

I know he’s no longer suffering, and knowing Bob, he’s still close by, silently encouraging us.

In fact, I strongly suspect that indeed he has seen the quilt – including my block that I signed, “Your Campbell Cousin.” I know he would have smiled, in spite of himself. I think he secretly forgave me for that Campbell thing long ago.

He’s probably quite amused that his funeral is on hold due to this virus, although I’m sure his family is not.

Update: Bob’s obituary and funeral information is here:

Bob McLaren’t funeral information is included in his obituary, here: https://www.jeffersonfuneralchapel.com/obituaries/Robert-Mclaren/#!/Obituary

But I have news for Bob – it’s not lights out. Not at all. In fact, the illuminating light of Bob’s life will continue to shine for a very long time – through the generations by virtue of the thousands and thousands of people he helped, those he encouraged to DNA test who are one step closer to unraveling the mystery of their own ancestors and the young people who look up to him as a role model and (grand)father figure.

That’s one heck of a legacy, one we all can and should aspire to.

Rest in Peace, Bob McLaren, Sir. Well done.

I know you have flown to the McLaren homeland, Creag an Tuirc.

McLaren homeland

By User:JacobiteMacLaren, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41255504, Balquhidder from Creag an Tuirc, the gathering place of the Clan MacLaren

Condolences, Memorials and Family Contact

Bob’s funeral plans are on hold for now due to the pandemic.

Update: Obituary and funeral information:

Bob McLaren’t funeral information is included in his obituary, here: https://www.jeffersonfuneralchapel.com/obituaries/Robert-Mclaren/#!/Obituary

Those who wish to share stories or pictures of Bob over the years may either comment on this article, send photos to me via e-mail at roberta@dnaexplain.com and I’ll post them in this section of the article along with a description and your comment, so long as I have permission from the people in the photo.

I told Bob’s family that they are welcome to use download and use any portion of this article for his service or any other purpose that brings them comfort.

To contact the family directly, send an email to Bob’s son, Sean at sean.r.mclaren@gmail.com.

To send cards, Bob’s address is given on the Clan McLaren website, here. I do not know if anyone will check Bob’s personal email again, so I would not suggest reaching out that way.

Contributed Memories

From Ally Woods in California:

Sir MacLaren will always bring a smile whenever I hear his name …

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

McLarenn and Ally Woods.jpg

From Marie in New Zealand:

Scottish Gaelic

Caud ye the door laddie – snak it my loon
Breng o’er  a cher and Sett Doon man, Sett Doon
It’s ainly but richt that yer  Kinfolk shud courl
To gie ye advice Tae gang oot in this worl’

Means:

Close you the door laddie – snib it my loved one
Bring over a chair and Sit Down man, Sit Down
It’s only but right that your Kinfolk should care-at-all
To give you advice to go out in this World

My best to you Roberta –
On losing a fine friend who would have heard and kenned / known this from an early age.

 

Notes to 40 Year Old Me


Sometimes milestones make us think. Life is seldom what we expect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t influence the outcome. In fact, life is an amazing journey that takes us to incredible places we never expected. When I was 40, genetic genealogy hadn’t yet been born – yet here we are today!

One of my beloved family members is having a 40th today, and I’d like to share some “accumulated wisdom” for her and also for my genealogy friends.

Looking back, here are the things I would tell my 40 year old self.

1. It’s not too late. You’re just now ripe.

2. Someday isn’t a day on the calendar.

3. Risk is not a 4 letter word. Fear is.

4. Love undeniably.

5. Remove toxic people, and jobs, from your life. You’re worth it!

6. Listen to your gut. It’s seldom wrong.

7. Life’s too short to drink bad wine or eat bad food.

8. Dark chocolate is not bad for you. Excesses of anything are.

9. Unpursued dreams will kill you, slowly and painfully.

10. Life is about the long game. In 10 years, if you’re lucky, you’ll be 50 – so investment in your own life so that you’re 50th will be perfect, because you’ll be 50 whether it’s perfect or not and you have 10 years to make it happen.

11. You are your greatest barrier.

12. You are your greatest asset.

13. A positive attitude makes most of the difference between being happy and miserable.

14. If you’re unhappy, fix the problem whether it’s external or internal.

15. If you can’t bloom where you are planted, uproot yourself and move on.

16. Always entertain the possibility of new opportunities.

17. When looking at employment, think about opportunities to make a difference.

18. Most regrets are born of what we didn’t do. Just do it!!

 Relative to genealogy:

19. Write it down. Yes, you will forget it otherwise.

20. Back up your computer, religiously, and store a backup outside your home.

21. Share. Post your tree. Be kind. It’s good for everyone.

22. Pay it forward. Someday you will be the beneficiary – in spades.

23. DNA test every relative you can find, because you’ll lose the opportunity if you don’t.

24. Be prepared. Carry a DNA kit with you at all times. Learn how to beg effectively:)

In Summary

Give some thought about how you’d like to be remembered. Write your own “dream obituary.” Then, do what’s needed to grow into that legacy.

Those of you past this birthday, what would you add?

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I receive a small contribution when you click on some of the links to vendors in my articles. This does NOT increase the price you pay but helps me to keep the lights on and this informational blog free for everyone. Please click on the links in the articles or to the vendors below if you are purchasing products or DNA testing.

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Cynthia Wells – A Light Gone Too Soon

It sounds trite to say that I’m sorry she’s gone, but I am.

Cynthia is one of those people that everyone, and I do mean everyone, liked.  She lit up the room everyplace she went, improved everything she touched and encouraged everyone, always.

And now, she has passed from this earth.

Cynthia was a long time dedicated genetic genealogist, and an even longer time genealogist. She joined the genetic genealogy community in the olden days, more than a dozen years ago and managed the Wells and Lay projects at Family Tree DNA.

She attended the conference for project administrators sponsored by Family Tree DNA every fall in Houston, and I was looking forward to seeing her next week.

Sadly, that’s not to be.

In short, those of us in the trenches together over the years have formed a family, of sorts.

I first met Cynthia perhaps a dozen years ago when we sat by each other at lunch at one of the early conferences and began discussing Indian traders in the south. She sent me an unpublished resource, along with a book, and refused any reimbursement at all. That’s the kind of person she was.

Cynthia worked as a volunteer for the LDS Church and spoke at several genealogy conferences and meetings, often attending at her own expense, bringing the message and joy of genetic genealogy to many.

A day or so before her passing, Cynthia returned from a trip to the Middle East, in particular, the Holy Land, to celebrate her husband’s retirement and the beginning of the next chapter of their life together. She was anxiously planning a two-year mission trip with her husband when she passed away.

What a heartbreaking situation her husband faces. My heart aches for him, her children and grandchildren.

Fortunately, Cynthia’s legacy is not lost.

You can read more about her passion in her speaker profile for Genetic Genealogy Ireland here.

You can listen to her lovely southern drawl as she gives her presentation about Reconstructing Irish-Caribbean Ancestry here.

You can read Cynthia’s obituary here.

If you are a member of the ISOGG Facebook group, you can read the remembrances of her friends along with photos of the places she traveled on behalf of genetic genealogy, truly a lovely tribute, here.

Cynthia’s unexpected and untimely passing reminds us all about how tenuous and fragile life is – and why we should say and do what needs to be said and done while we can. Cherish those we love and value every minute. We really don’t know when it might be our last.

Rest in Peace Cynthia – you truly have made the world a better place and improved the lives of those who were graced enough to walk a few steps with you along the way.

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I receive a small contribution when you click on some of the links to vendors in my articles. This does NOT increase the price you pay but helps me to keep the lights on and this informational blog free for everyone. Please click on the links in the articles or to the vendors below if you are purchasing products or DNA testing.

Thank you so much.

DNA Purchases and Free Transfers

Genealogy Services

Genealogy Research