My mother used to say that patience is a virtue.
I’m afraid I’m not naturally a very virtuous person, at least not where patience is concerned. I don’t seem to take after my ancestor, Patience Brewster (1600-1634.) Perhaps those “patience” genes didn’t make it to my generation. Or maybe Patience wasn’t very patient herself.
Not only does patience not come naturally to me, it’s more difficult for everyone during stressful times. People are anxious, nerves are frazzled and tempers are short. Have you noticed that recently?
I guess you could say that what we’ve been enduring, in terms of both health issues and/or preparation for the Covid-19 virus along with the economic rollercoaster – not to mention the associated politics, is stress-inducing.
- Worry about a slow-motion epidemic steamrollering the population as it wraps around the world – check.
- Worry about family members – check.
- Worry about TP, hand sanitizer, food, medication and other supplies – check.
- Worry about jobs and income – check.
- Worry about retirement accounts and medical bills – check.
- Worry about long-term ramifications – check.
Nope, no stress here. What about you?
And yes, I’m intentionally understated, hoping to at least garner a smile.
Once you’ve stocked up on what you need and decided to stay home out of harm’s way – or more to the point, out of germ’s way – how can you feel more patient and less stressed?
I have some suggestions!
The Feel Better Recipe
First, just accept that once you’ve done what you can do to help yourself, which includes minimizing exposure – there’s little else that you can do. I wrote about symptoms and precautions, here. The best thing you can do is wash, stay home and remain vigilant.
If someone you know or love doesn’t understand why we need to limit or eliminate social interaction at this point, here’s an article that explains how NOT to be stupid, as well as an article here about what flattening the curve means and why social distancing is our only prayer at this point to potentially avoid disaster. We are all in this together and we all have a powerful role to play – just by staying at home.
Educating and encouraging others to take precautionary steps might help, but worrying isn’t going to help anything because you can’t affect much beyond your own sphere of influence. As much as we wish we could affect the virus itself, or increase the testing supply, or influence good decision-making by others, we generally can’t.
What can we do, aside from sharing precautionary information and hoping that we are “heard?”
We can try to release the worry.
If you sit there thinking about releasing the worry, which means you’re focused on worrying – that’s probably not going to be very productive.
Neither is drinking your entire supply of Jack Daniels in one sitting – not the least of which is because you may need that as hand sanitizer down the road a bit. Oh, wait, hand sanitizer is supposed to be more than 60% alcohol, which would be 120 proof. Never mind, go ahead and drink the Jack Daniels😊
What you really need is a distraction. Preferably a beneficial distraction that won’t give you a hangover. Not like my distraction this past month when the washing machine flooded through the floor into the basement including my office below. No, not that kind of distraction.
Some folks can “escape the world,” in a sense, by watching TV, but I’m not one of those people. I need to engage my mind with some sort of structure and I want to feel like I’m accomplishing something. If you’re a “TV” person, you’re probably watching TV now and not reading this anyway – so I’m guessing that’s not my readership audience, by and large.
Here are 20 wonderful ideas for fun and useful things to do – and guess what – they aren’t all genealogy related. Let’s start with something that will make you feel wonderful.
- Take a walk – outside, but not around other people. Your body and mind will thank you. Your body likes to move and exercise generates beneficial feel-good endorphins, reducing anxiety. Remember to take hand sanitizer with you and open doors by pushing with your arm or hip, if possible. Also, if you need to get fuel for your vehicle, take disposable gloves to handle the pump. Disinfectant, soap and water is your friend – maybe your best friend right now.
- Read a book. Escapism, pure and simple. I have a stack of books just waiting. If you don’t, you can download e-books to your Kindle or iPad or phone directly from Amazon without going anyplace or have books delivered directly to your door. Try Libby Copeland’s The Lost Family, which you can order here. It’s dynamite. (My brother and my story are featured, which I wrote about here.) If you’d like DNA education, you can order Diahan Southard’s brand new book, Your DNA Guide: Step by Step Plans, here. I haven’t read Diahan’s book, but I’m familiar with the quality of her work and don’t have any hesitation about recommending it. (Let me know what you think.) And hey, you don’t even need hand sanitizer for this!
- Check your DNA matches at all the vendors where you’ve tested. If you don’t check daily, now would be a good time to catch up. Not just autosomal matches, but also Y and mitochondrial at Family Tree DNA. Those tests often get overlooked. Maybe some of your matches have updated their trees or earliest known ancestor information.
- Speaking of trees, update your trees on the three DNA/genealogy sites that support trees: FamilyTreeDNA, MyHeritage and Ancestry. Keeping your tree up to date through at least the 8th generation (including their children) enables the companies to more easily connect the dots for their helpful tools like Phased Family Matching aka bucketing at FamilyTreeDNA, Theories of Family Relativity aka TOFR at MyHeritage and ThruLines at Ancestry.
- Connect your known matches to their appropriate place on your tree at Family Tree DNA, as illustrated above. This provides fuel for Family Tree DNA to be able to designate your matches as maternal or paternal, even if your mother and father haven’t tested. In this case, I’ve connected my first cousin once removed who matches me in her proper location in my tree. People who match my cousin and I both are assigned to my maternal bucket.
- Order or upgrade a Y DNA or mitochondrial DNA test or a Family Finder autosomal test for you or a family member at Family Tree DNA. Upgrades, shown above, are easy if the tester has already taken at least one test, because DNA is banked at the lab for future orders. You don’t have to go anyplace to do this and DNA testing results and benefits last forever. Your DNA works for you 24x7x365.
- Join a free project at FamilyTreeDNA. Those can be surname projects, haplogroup projects, regional projects such as Acadian AmeriIndian and other interest topics like American Indian. You can search or browse for projects of interest and collaborate with others. Projects are managed by volunteer administrators who obviously have an interest in the project’s topic.
- At each of the vendors, find your highest autosomal match whom you cannot place as a relative. Work on their line via tree construction and then utilizing clustering using Genetic Affairs. I wrote about Genetic Affairs, an amazing tool, here, which you can try for free.
- Check the FamilySearch WIKI for your genealogy locations by googling “Claiborne County, Tennessee FamilySearch wiki” where you substitute the location of where you are searching for “Claiborne County, Tennessee.” FamilySearch is free and the WIKI includes resources outside of FamilySearch itself, including paid and other free sites.
- While you’re at it, if you haven’t already, create a FamilySearch account and create or upload a tree to FamilySearch. It will be connected to branches of existing trees to create one large worldwide tree. Yes, you’ll be frustrated in some cases because there are incorrect ancestors sometimes listed in the “big tree” – BUT – there are procedures in place to remediate that situation. The important aspect is that FamilySearch, which is free, provides hints and resources not available any other place for some ancestors. Not long ago, I found a detailed estate packet that I had no idea existed – for a female ancestor no less. You can search at FamilySearch for ancestors, genealogies, records and in other ways. New records become available often. This will keep you occupied for days, I promise!
- Begin a Novel Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic journal. Think of your descendants 100 years in the future. Wouldn’t you like to know what your great-grandparents were doing during the 1918 Spanish Flu Pandemic? Or even their siblings or neighbors, because that was likely similar to what your ancestors were doing as well. You don’t have to write much daily – just write. Not just facts, but how you feel as well. Are you afraid, concerned specifically about someone? What’s going on with you – in your mind? That’s the part of you that your descendants will long to know a century from now.
- Create something with your hands. I made a quilt this week for an ailing friend, unrelated to this epidemic. No, I didn’t “have time” to do that, but I made time because this quilt is important, and I know they need the “get well’’” wishes and love that quilt will wrap them in. It always feels good to do something for someone else.
- Garden, or in my case, that equates to pulling weeds. Not only is weeding productive, you can work off frustration by thinking about someone or something that upsets you as you yank those weeds out by their roots. Of course, that means you’ll have to first decide what is, and is not, a weed😊. That could be the toughest part.
- At MyHeritage, you can use Irish records for free this month, plus try a free subscription, here in order to access all the rest of the millions of records available at MyHeritage. Check for Smart Matches for ancestors, shown above, and confirm that they are accurate, meaning that the ancestor the other person has in their tree is the same person as you have in your tree – even if they aren’t exactly identical. You don’t need to import any of their information, and I would suggest that you don’t without reviewing every piece of information individually. Confirming Smart Matches helps MyHeritage build Theories of Family Relativity – not to mention you may discover additional information about your ancestors. While you’re checking Smart Matches, who ARE those other people with your grandmother in their tree. Are they relatives who might have information that you don’t? This is a good opportunity to reach out. And what are those 12 pending record matches? Inquiring minds want to know. Let’s check.
- Check either NewsPapers.com or the Newspaper collection at MyHeritage, or both, systematically, for each ancestor. You never know what juicy tidbits you might discover about your ancestors. Often, things “forgotten” by families are the informative morsels you’ll want to know and are hidden in those local news articles. These newsy community newspapers bring the life and times of our ancestors to light in ways nothing else can. Wait, what? My Brethren ancestor, Hiram Ferverda, pleaded guilty to something??? I’d better read this article!
- Interview your relatives. Make a list of questions you’d like for them to answer about themselves and the most distant common ancestors that they knew, or knew about. You can conduct interviews without being physically together via the phone or Skype or Facetime. Document what was said for the future, in writing, and possibly by recording as well. After someone has passed, hearing their voice again is priceless.
- Transfer your DNA file to vendors that accept transfers, getting more bang for your testing dollars by finding more matches. 23andMe and Ancestry don’t accept transfers. At MyHeritage and FamilyTreeDNA, transfers are free and so is matching, but advanced tools require a small unlock fee. I wrote a step-by-step series about how to transfer, here. Each article includes instructions for transferring from or to Ancestry, MyHeritage, 23andMe and FamilyTreeDNA. Don’t forget to upload to GedMatch for additional tools.
- Focus on your most irritating brick wall and review what records you do, and don’t have that could be relevant. That would include local, county, state and federal records, tax lists, census, church records and minutes and local histories if they exist. Have you called the local library and asked about vertical files or other researchers? What about state archive resources? Don’t forget activities like google searches. Have you utilized all possible DNA clues, including Y DNA and mitochondrial DNA, if applicable? How about third-party tools like Genetic Affairs and DNAgedcom?
- Try DNAPainter, for free. Painting your chromosomes and walking those segments back in time to your ancestors from whom they descended is so much fun. Not to mention you can integrate ethnicity and now traits, too. I’ve written instructions for using using DNAPainter in a variety of ways, here.
- Expand your education by watching webinars at Legacy Family Tree Webinars. Many are free and a yearly subscription is very reasonable. Take a look, here.
- Spring cleaning your house or desk. Ewww – cleaning – the activity that is never done and begins undoing itself immediately after you’ve finished? Makes any of the above 20 activities sound wonderful by comparison, right? I agree, so pick one and let’s get started!
Let me know what you find. Write about your search activities and discoveries in your Pandemic journal too.
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Thanks SO MUCH, Roberta. I’ve followed you for years, but now, HOORAY, I’m finally learning that I can claim kinship — since you mentioned Patience Brewster!!! I descend from her in more than one way! Is your lineage from her included in one of your posts (that I might have missed)? I’d love to determine just how close/distant our connection is.
Keep writing. Be happy. Stay healthy!
No, I haven’t written about that yet. I will post a link to my Ancestry tree shortly. I descend through Mercy Prence. Does our DNA match?
Thanks, Roberta! It may be so distant that DNA won’t register, but in addition to that I’m not sure I know your kit numbers anywhere (and I’m almost everywhere). Back in November, Randy Seaver (local to me, here in San Diego County) mentioned his William Brewster line in a lecture or blog post. I’ve determined that he and I are 9C 1R via TWO routes, as I have a couple of early second cousins (Joshua Sears and Rebecca Mayo who married in 1732).
To be continued.
Looks like I’m connected to Randy 2 ways too.
At FTDNA, search for Ferverda which is my mother’s name. She’s a generation closer.
Carol Snow and Roberta,
I too descend from Patience Brewster but through Rebecca Prence. Here is my descent line: https://doriswheeler.org/ui232.htm#a4. This chart shows several descent lines from Elder William Brewster: https://doriswheeler.org/ui231.htm#a16. Scroll down and right to see all.
So glad to find a common ancestor with both of you!
Here’s my Ancestry tree link: https://www.ancestry.com/family-tree/pt/RSVP.aspx?dat=NDUzOTc4Mjg7OzAwOGU3ODlkLTAwMDEtMDAwMC0wMDAwLTAwMDAwMDAwMDAwMDsyMDIwMDMxNDIyMTIyOTsx&mac=JBzGeoB6RkYBJMs9Zm3QSQ==
These are great ideas, Roberta! Thanks for putting this together!
Great Ideas Roberta!
Some of us can remember when tubercolosis, small pox and polio were still major threats to the American public. In those days instead of being vaccinated for measles, all children had to have a small pox vaccination before starting school. It left a noticeable round scar on the left arm that kids liked to show off after enduring the shot.
One of my cousins died of polio.before I was bprn. Another cousin had a deformed arm from polio. I know other people that had polio as children and recovered from.it. But polio killed many people and crippled many more.
My mother’s grandmother and aunt died of TB in 1905. In the 50’s and 60’s it was still.around and my uncle’s wife was in a sanitarium. My.uncle also had the disease but.it was coming under control by then and he was no longer contagious. My older brothers and sisters were already in school when he was diagnosed and they and my parents were tested for TB. All of my earlier years as a teacher, all educators in our state had to have a yearly TB test. After many years I went into the health department for my annual test and was told they were no longer requiring it as TB had been virtually wiped out. There have been a few cases in the US since then but not the epidemic it once was.
In the 50’s and 60’s they started coming around to schools giving vaccinations for polio but it remained a threat until the oral version came out. I remember one Sunday afternoon when everyone from church went across the road to.the school to get the oral polio vaccine which was given on a sugar cube placed in the mouth.
Hopefully a cure will be found for COVID-19.too. i am thankful to our health departments for their hard work in the past so we no.longer have to worry about all those diseases that were common threats to past generations.
Perhaps, we should share some of these memories in a hopeful manner?
Quilting requires lots of patience, Roberta, so you must have an abundance of patience!
Wonderful ideas! Thank you. May I suggest another? I find great satusfaction and fun in building and enhancing my genealogy website using Second Site with The Master Genealogist or Gedsite using a GEDCOM from any program. It’s so much more interesting than a plain vanilla tree. Please visit anytime: https://doriswheeler.org/.
Great idea! Thank you.
A few other suggestions: start a journal about the COVID-19 virus for your children and grandchildren and future descendants – a great article here about how to do that https://thegenealogyreporter.com/journaling-about-the-coronavirus-pandemic-of-2020/ . Go visit a local cemetery and take photos – fresh air and maybe sunshine are good, as is the exercise. Stay away from crowds and keep social distance with living people at the cemetery though 🙂 Post the gravestone photos to Findagrave; they have a great cellphone app so you can check to see who is asking for photos to be taken. Do indexing for the familysearch.org site. Catch up on those things on the “to do” list that nveer get to the top.
Home and self quarantined, bored until this idea. You had me working from 4:30 PST pm on my Brewster line. going to bed now, 11PM… 🙂
See, it’s working!!! Do we connect on that line?
I think so – I have to do some reading from the Brewster family book copies I have. Will email you what I find as can be helpful for you ! Yay! Have no FEAR (Fear Brewster), Love is here (Love Brewster) and Wrestling (Brewster) are names out of the Family Bible from Elder William Brewster (nicknamed Mayflower for surviving a turbulent trip over here from Netherlands). Best distraction ever, thx much!
Clearly you have restored PATIENCE (Brewster) to LIFE. There are hundreds, if not thousands of us, who are related through Patience Brewster.
By the way, Roberta, the link you sent to your Ancestry tree did not work, but I’ll try your suggestion on FTDNA. So you can learn what is happening, this is what came from Ancestry —
“The reason for this error could be one of the following:
Your invitation has already been used.
This invitation may have already been accepted by somebody else. Each invitation is only good for one user.”
Keep up the good work!!
“Fabulous Roberta” keeping our global genetic genealogy community connected through this most difficult time! Glad you didn’t include “sleeping” as number 21 as we might not receive these wonderful gifts from you…”virtual quilts” spreading your goodness around the world! Thank you….. Clearly I should have delayed reading “The Lost Family”…really enjoyed it!
These activities are fantastic! How amazing and thoughtful of you!
You are absolute right Roberta. There’s no sense worrying about things you can’t control. Not only am I self-isolating, I shop with gloves on and never touch anything outside my house with my bare hands. To get me through this I have just signed up for a course at the University of Sydney in Australia on the early history of the European countries. Hopefully this will help me with my early genealogy.