Some things….they’re just hard….really hard.
My cousin, Roy Eastes has been such an inspiration to me and others for decades now, and he passed over this week, just two days after his 94th birthday.
Yep, earned his wings. Finally free from pain. Gets to see his beloved wife again. Meeting the ancestors. Good for him. Sad for those of us left behind.
Roy was my very first DNA project co-administrator on my first DNA project. And he was a very, very unlikely candidate. I kind of thought of us as Mutt and Jeff, but we were indeed a dynamic duo and he made every escapade fun. I loved working with Roy and just having someone who was as excited as I was about every little discovery made sharing the journey wonderful. We had a special kind of camaraderie, even though he was clearly old enough to be my father – and he was somewhat of a character.
Why was Roy such an unlikely project administrator candidate? Well, because he was too old, too set in his ways, too unhealthy and too uneducated in the science of genetic genealogy. At least, that’s what he told me.
I am 81 and have been in bad health for the past 10 years. I am pretty much confined and can’t get out but very little. My wife Berniece is 80 an has had two light strokes but gets around real well with a walker. We joke and say that we get up in the mornings and flip a coin to see who takes care of who!! I can only piddle with this stuff a little bit each day but like to keep up with what’s going on!
But he wasn’t too old or too disabled, and he made up for all of those things with tenacity and sheer, utter commitment and perseverance. He was a pit bull, not a piddler…except I don’t want to offend any pit bulls out there.
I first came to know Roy in the Estes family research community over the years. We all lurked on Rootsweb and Genealogy.com posting questions and finds back and forth beginning in the early 1990s.
In 2003, Roy told me that he had been researching Estes family history for 55 years and he had made it his top retirement objective in 1983. I hate to tell you this, but Roy started with his genealogy significantly before I was born. I don’t think my Dad’s eyes were even twinkling yet or that he had met my Mom.
But Roy had a problem. He was stuck on his Estes line with an Elisha who died in Roane County, TN in 1819.
As in brick wall stuck.
Roy knew that there were several Estes men who were candidates to be Elisha’s father, but who was? And did these men all descend from the immigrant Abraham Estes, or did some of the Estes men in the late 1700s descend from other, perhaps unrelated immigrants?
When you’ve been through all the records, there just isn’t anyplace more to go unless you can find a record in a different location that connects the two families together – family history becomes impossible and you have reached a dead end.
The other alternative, at least today, is DNA testing.
In 2003 when I first really began recruiting for the Estes surname project, Roy jumped at the chance to participate. He didn’t know what he’d find, but he knew he stood a better chance of finding something and anything was more than he already knew.
Roy ordered kit number 11,727 in July of 2003.
He told me he was too old to understand “any of this,” but after I explained it to him, he began explaining it to others. So, Roy, at a mere 81 years of age wasn’t too old at all.
Roy wanted to know who else was participating in DNA testing from the Estes community, because he understood the success of his own goals depended on other male Estes’s with proven genealogical descent from Abraham taking the Y DNA test. So, he began recruiting people himself.
After Roy’s initial recruiting drive which included calling every other Estes male researcher he knew AND writing letters, he told me that he had, after he retired, entered every Estes family he could find into his genealogy software. Most of these lines had been documented somewhat in at least one earlier published book, but that was only the beginning for Roy. He added his own research and that of anyone who would send him sourced information.
In 2003, I asked Roy to be my Estes DNA project co-administrator. He assured me he could not do that, for the same list of reasons he always gave me…too this or too that…but I knew better. I wasn’t sure exactly how everything would work out. After all, this was my first project and I was learning too. But I knew for sure that Roy had one invaluable asset – enthusiasm and a willingness to reach out to people and to learn. Plus, Roy was extremely motivated by his own brick wall interests.
I suggested that Roy and I split the tasks and that I’d take the genetics and he could help people with the genealogy part. We agreed, but that was before all of the DNA results began coming in.
A few weeks later, Roy, who was “too old” to understand the genetics, was sending me spreadsheets comparing the various Estes lines, their mutations and trying to figure out which of Abraham’s sons he descended from. We knew by that time that Roy’s line did indeed match the DNA of Abraham the immigrant, so either Abraham was his ancestor or they shared a common ancestor.
It’s amazing what a little motivation can do – Roy could and did understand Y DNA just fine.
Roy asked me about doing a webpage. I told him that was not my area of expertise. Then, he told me he was unable at his age to learn anything like web programming.
About two weeks later, he mentioned that he was learning html, a web programming language, so he could write his own web page. I didn’t say it out loud, but I thought to myself, “Good luck with that.”
Another few weeks later, I received a link to something that looked a lot like this:
He had taught himself html at age 82 or 83 and constructed a genealogy webpage that still exists today. This man puts me to shame!
Hurricane Katrina in 2005 was a bit of a turning point in Roy’s life, the beginning of a final set of chapters. Not only was it devastating, Roy refused to evacuate. I begged him to come, family, wife, wheelchairs, pets, everyone and whatever he wanted to bring to stay with us indefinitely. He told me he would live or die, but it would be right there – and he stayed in Gulfport, Mississippi. We couldn’t contact Roy for days and days. I never told him that another cousin died in that hurricane and how desperately worried we were. His mortality became crystal clear to him, his priorities shifted, and he began to work fervently on his bucket list.
Shortly thereafter, Roy told me he was too unhealthy to continue his website, and while I fervently hoped he was wrong, I did accept the gift of Roy’s website which Estes family archivist, David Powell has graciously incorporated as part of his website today, where you can visit it at http://estes.roots-boots.net/.
Over the next few years, now entirely wheelchair bound, Roy authored several books, the last of which was published in 2009. Roy wrote a large and beautifully detailed book about his Estes family history, but that book didn’t sell one single copy. Know why? Roy gave it away, to anyone and everyone who wanted it.
Roy was a true historian, questioning everything, driving us all to distraction sometimes requesting documentation, and digging up not only the improbable but seemingly, the impossible. His stringent military training and just under four decades of service never left him and served us all very well. In fact, Roy poked around until he discovered the Bobbitt family whose Bible page included a record that Abraham Estes had sailed with their family immigrant on the same ship, the Martha, arriving in January 1674 at City Point, Virginia.
As Roy and his wife’s health both deteriorated, he did have to give up his DNA project co-administrator duties and he was preparing for the inevitable day when he would no longer be here. He signed an affadivit, for example, allowing me access to his DNA forever. That was before Family Tree DNA had their Beneficiary page for you to designate a beneficiary for your DNA. Roy was absolutely committed to genealogy and genetic genealogy, both today and in the future when he just knew all of the answers would be unraveled.
After Roy’s wife passed away, he began living in an assisted living facility and gave up his research “cave” for a laptop. He was still involved, gladly shared his work, and encouraged anyone and everyone who would listen for half a minute…that was…until the beast called Alzheimer’s began to steal his life away.
These last few months have been exceedingly difficult, watching the once vibrant and outstanding researcher descend into the darkness of confusion. We still loved Roy of course, and we still wrote to him and shared finds with him, but his answers often no longer made sense. But Roy knew we cared about him and sometimes a cognizant e-mail would slip in among the rest. Those were doubly sad, because he clearly knew what he was losing as he slipped beneath the waves. Those were heart-wrenching moments of terrifying clarity.
As I’ve looked back through Roy’s e-mails and letters these past few days, one of his e-mails really stands out in terms of clarity and prophecy.
I think when the dust clears with the DNA project we will find some fantastic information. I don’t expect this in my life time but you have really started a great thing in the project!
I will say this – My predictions are future research will show that:
- Nicholas Ewstas was not connected to The House of Este.
- Nicholas will be found connected to the Eustice line.
- The basic line will be traced back to the Flanders area.
Other predictions that will be proven :
- The spouse of Abraham Sr, was not Barbara Brock.
- Abraham was not an indentured servant as such.
- There are errors in the list of children of Abraham and Barbara that we now accept.
I only wish I knew 30 years ago what we know now! Then I would have had the time and resources to check into these things!
To date, we have evidence that indeed, Nicholas Ewstas was most likely not connected to the House of Este. The connection to the Eustice line depends on which line and who is spelling the surname. And yes, the Estes line, first found in Kent, did come from mainland Europe – but apparently not Italy. Big Y testing on a group of Estes men with known and proven descent helped to sort this out. Roy didn’t get to participate in that testing, because his line is not proven genealogically beyond Elisha. DNA can do a lot, but it can’t make up for generational genealogically connected records.
Indeed, Roy is right and there is no evidence to suggest that Abraham’s wife, Barbara, was a Brock. You can’t prove a negative using DNA, at least not in this case. I am hopeful that in years to come as we develop tools like ancestor libraries where haplotypes are associated with certain ancestors and lines that we can one day unravel Barbara’s surname. It may not be in my lifetime either – but it will happen one day.
However, until then, we just don’t know, the county records we need have burned and there is just no way to discover her surname.
Unless, unless….Roy can figure out a way to tell us her name. I know, for a fact, that the first thing Roy did after greeting Berniece and his dog was to find Abraham and Barbara and ask about her surname.
Roy wasn’t too old, too disabled, too uneducated in genetic genealogy or too anything else. He was just the opposite, extremely capable. Roy jumped right in, in his 80s and made an unparalleled contribution on several fronts, including genetic genealogy. And now that he is actually ON the other side, WITH those ancestors… I’m hoping against hope that Roy isn’t too far away. I know that if there is any way for Roy to get us that surname information, he will. And I’m counting on him.
Just so you know, Roy, I’m leaving a pad of paper out with a pen, right by the Christmas tree:)
Roy has served as a personal inspiration for me now, for years. I used to think of Roy and say to myself, thinking of him confined to his wheelchair and always working through some level of chronic pain, “If Roy can do THAT, I can surely do this.” Roy leaves a huge legacy behind.
Perhaps the most important lesson is that you are never “too” anything, unless you decide you are. However, if you don’t DO something, eventually, you will be too late. Roy wasn’t too late, he just left too soon. I miss you partner.
Rest in peace Roy, right after you send me that surname:)
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Roberta, Is your cousin the same person that authored Document #4 on my page at: _Descendants of John Long, Sr of Maryland_ (http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~cfii/) That document has been a great help to many Long’s! Bill Long _www.longdna.com_ (http://www.longdna.com) ____________________________________
Yes, that’s him. I didn’t even know about that one. He contributed so much.
Wonderful story! My dad, at 81, helps me with the family ancestry. So glad to share it with him too! Sometimes the concepts (especially of going back past what he knew and was told) are almost too much for him to grasp, but he is a willing DNA tester, and is recruiting his relative to test too. 😊
Roberta, that was a beautiful tribute. I am so sorry for your loss. My mother just turned 99 and is also an inspiration. I had her do several DNA tests. One of her ancestors is Gov. William Bradford. When she is no longer with us, like Roy, it will leave a huge hole in our lives, but remembering their drive and courage to keep going despite advancing years and decline, will help guide us. They will live on in our memories and will always be that shining example. And hopefully there will be a name on that pad someday. Peace be with you at this time and always. Judy
What a wonderful, loving tribute to an amazing man. May he rest in peace.
A heartfelt, loving tribute! RIP
What a beautifully written tribute about a man you clearly loved. I am sorry for your (and our) loss.
I love your blog. There is hope for us all!
You and all members of his family as well as researchers he worked with have my sympathy.
Roberta, your tribute is so inspiring.
Roberta – So very sorry for your loss of this amazing man. Your writing of him is such a tribute to him as a person and as a genealogist. I’m sure he is smiling at you with appreciation for the accolades and also with hope of your continuing work in untangling the Estes lines. I’m hoping that he can somehow provide you with some of the answers you and he were seeking. Have a blessed holiday and a very productive New Year.
How wonderful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
Roberta. Very beautiful tribute. The Estes Clan will miss Roy very much. God Bless. Howard Estes
What an inspiring man. Always trying to learn, no matter how old he got. Another wonderful article, Roberta. We all now feel like we knew him ourselves.
You said, “His stringent military training and just under four decades of service.” May I ask which service?
Air Force, Army and then civil service. His obituary is here if you’d like a bit more detailed information. http://www.riemannfamily.com/obituaries/Leroy-Eastes/#!/Obituary
My mom was a cousin of Roy’s and she shared your link with me. What a beautiful tribute you have written, Roberta! Thank you for sharing a little more of Roy with us. Looking forward to hearing how that surname was easily communicated to you.
This is an amazing legacy of someone my (mom, maiden name being Maureen Eastus)….Had mentioned off and on throughout my lifetime. This had all the elements of an “HBO special”… Mystery, history, modern science, a love story intertwined, about the integrity of a man who thought his capabilities and limitations had something to do with his age…. I held my breathe, I read faster , I felt heart ache, joy, and excitement, I cried. I giggled. I got ” goosies” and I teared up again. What an inspiration to us all, I am forwarding this to both of my sons: messages of hope, rewards of perseverance, proof of the importance of believing in one’s self and never, I repeat. …. Never giving up, as long as you can breathe. Thanks mom for forwarding this to me. May Roy rest in peace…. Has the pen moved yet?
The pen hasn’t moved, but the cats are playing with it. However, I fell asleep hemming a quilt. I had a dream that Roy was telling me something. He was saying Johnson, Jones, Williams and other very common last names and laughing. Now I don’t know if Roy is playing a joke on me or if it’s just the stress of the holidays – and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry:) Not funny Roy!!!!! So, still waiting.
What a wonderful, inspiring story you’ve told today Roberta. Thank you for introducing us to Roy who was obviously an outstanding human being.
I’m now 76 and pulling out all the stops to knock down brick walls, gather all the DNA of my family, organise all my photos making sure I label them all, putting all the precious old letters and diaries into acid free archival boxes and making sure that my tree on Ancestry.com.au is as accurate as possible – it has nearly 38,000 names. When I feel the “end is nigh” all this stuff will go into a trunk which arrives in a couple of weeks, so that NOTHING of importance goes on to a bonfire after I’ve gone.
I’m very aware that my generation has information that our children and grandchildren couldn’t possibly know, since it consists of childhood memories of our own grandparents, and it’s important that we pass this on, since it’s these stories which puts meat on the bones.
I love your posts.
Best wishes for a merry Christmas and a happy and fruitful New Year.
Merilyn from Aldgate, South Australia
Good for you Merilyn. Hopefully you’re inspiring people too!!!!
Thank you for sharing Roy’s inspiring story with us. I am so sorry that you have lost a well loved genealogy partner and cousin. I hope you think of him often and that your memories bring you smiles.
What a great tribute, you obviously made a great team, and I hope you find that name you need floating into your mind one day soon. : ) Thank you for all you do all year to keep me informed and educated on DNA. I share your blog with newer folks often.
I am so sorry for your loss! What an amazing man he was! Loved your tribute..
I am sorry that you don’t have the physical presence of your cousin anymore . I don’t like to say “sorry for your loss” because I don’t think you actually lose the affection you have in your heart or the memories that pop up unexpectedly to make you smile. Therefore it really isn’t a loss, just a change of address. I further believe that sometimes when something odd thing happens and you immediately think of someone it’s their way of saying “Woo hoo I see you” . I hope that if Roy does get some info to you that maybe you can ask him to nudge my sister Patty into getting the details about 2XGreat Grandpa John to me so the brick wall can come tumbling down.
Hugs, Prayers and Blessings!
My condolences, Roberta. It’s alwyas sad when someone who is such a strong influence leaves this sad, old world. He left quite a legacy and I expect he’ll keep helping you, even if he’s not here in the flesh anymore.
I didn’t know Ray but I would certainly have liked him. What a wondferful tribute you’ve written.
Roberta, I am sorry for your loss at this time of year. You have written a beautiful tribute to your Brother. I lost my MOM in Feb. 1994 about 2:00 am on Feb. 15 I lost my Dad on Dec 28. 1994. I was recently was given a membership in New England Historic Genealogy Society by an Anonymous Donor a day after my Birthday on Nov.24, 2015. It is amazing when friends or even people we do not know come and assist you with LIFE. You have to be thanked for so much info on how to decipher or Family Trees, and those of others. GOD BLESS you at this time of year and may you and your great family continue to be a Great Inspiration to all of us, Love, Paul Morris Hilton, email@example.com
Rest in Peace Roy …. great tribute Roberta …..
Talked (Email) many times with Roy and he was always helpful. He send several of his “books” to me via CD. Roy was the “spitttin image” of my maternal uncle Jack Estes and talking (email) to him was like talking to my late uncle. His research has led me to my most probable connection to our immigrant ancestor Abraham. Uncle Jack died before the advent of genealogical Y DNA and of course the use of autosomal tools. But each new “hit” with the latter if not conclusively surely supports my best probable connection. There are no surviving documented bearers of Uncle Jack’s Y data and as my relationship to the Estes is through my mother, autosomal DNA continues to be my only tool in the absence of any surviving documents. I am deeply indebted to Roy and his kindness in getting a bit closer to my family origins.
Very nice tribute Roberta. Many of us have benefited from his research and will do so for years to come. What a tremendous gift! I look forward to uncovering my own connection to Roy.
Bobbi- I am so sorry for your loss…I exchanged emails with Roy many years ago. What a wonderful help he was to me and anyone who asked for his assistance. Yes he will be missed greatly…
Roberta – I so enjoy your blog. Today I was looking at my ftDNA matches and Leroy Eastes came up matching on a chromosome segment that my cousin Dori and I believe is linked to our Noland ancestry. And I find out he’s released his family, friendships and chromosomes for new horizons before we could connect. Peace and joy to you as you remember him. If there is a way to verify or disavow a Noland connection, we thought you might know. Much appreciation for any direction you can provide…
This would make Roy so happy. Roy was an incredible genealogist and he took great care to preserve his work. Here is his file, courtesy of another cousin who is kindly hosting Roy’s original work now.
Thank you, thank you, Roberta!